Hello friends and family!!
I pray this e-mail finds you well and enjoying all of the blessings from our heavenly Father. I figured that it is about time that I have sent an e-mail out considering I have been here almost two months and I have only updated my blog once. My sincerest apologies. Internet is limited and must be bought, so what internet I do use, I hope to use connecting on Facebook or skyping with my family and a few friends.
To be completely honest, the first few weeks were a struggle. I have battled homesickness, doubt, discouragement, guilt, and manipulation. All of which, the enemy has used to tear me down and distract me from lectures so that I don’t grow.
I knew that leaving my family for six months would be difficult but I never realized that it would be to this extent. The first two or three weeks, I would wake up and look around and almost cry because I no longer wanted to be here. I just wanted to go home. To be able to see, and talk to (without shelling out money), and hug my family all I want. It was also difficult because all of my roommates have been far from home for long periods of time, are grown adults living on their own, or don’t really miss their family, so I had almost no one to talk to that could relate. Talking one day to my parents on the phone though, it dawned on me that my homesickness was not from me but rather from Satan and that he was using it as a stronghold against me to ensure that I would not focus, or excel, or even want to be here. As soon as I recognized that and prayed/broke the spirit, my homesickness pretty much vanished. I still miss all of you very much, but no longer to the extent that that is all I can think about. Praise the Lord!
Going along with my homesickness, my first few weeks, I really doubted that this is where God wants me. I prayed about it. I cried about it. I talked to others about it. And after all of those avenues of opinions and guidance I came to the conclusion that God is my Father and just like my earthly dad, I have boundaries of what I can do without making him mad or disappointing him but as long as I stay within those boundaries I have complete freedom to decide what I want to become and what I want to do. And that is the same way with God. There are boundaries that I cannot cross such as sexual impurity, slander, rage, stealing, murder, etc. but so long as I stay within those boundaries, God gives me the option of what to do with my life. He has given me passions for a reason and He wants me to pursue those passions but it’s not as if by going to school instead of mission work that He is going to smite me because I didn’t follow His plan!! I believe that that is a huge misconception in the church that needs to be reversed and when you know the truth, there is so much freedom to know that God wants YOU to choose. Learning and accepting that, my doubt about being here and what God wanted for me was no longer an issue that I deal with on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with doubt but no longer about if this is really where I should be and if this is what God wants for me.
This is going to be a long one… The guilt, discouragement, and manipulation go hand in hand. The second of week of lectures, the base leader, Daan Abraham was our speaker. On a personal level, Daan is a wonderful man of God who earnestly wants to see his students succeed and grow in their relationship with God. However, in the classroom, Daan is a very aggressive speaker. He is a passionate man for God, but his speaking style can be overwhelming and come across as condemning at times. One of the first days that he was speaking, he encouraged us to give away 7 things, however when he gave the assignment, he was not specific that it was to be material things so my first instinct was to give up things that I have been struggling with personally. When talking about the things that we were going to give up, I mentioned my personal things and was chastised by him because they were not materialistic. It was difficult because I felt that God wanted me to sacrifice those personal things to him before I could give anything else away and to be told that I’m not listening was really hard. Not only that, but me (and my roommates) got the feeling from Daan and some of the staff that if we did not give away those 7 things than we were not good Christians and were not serious in our faith. It was just so frustrating because I felt that they did not recognize all that we had given up just to get here. My family, my education, my comfort zone, my friends, my church, my familiarity. I talked to some of the female staff and my one-on-one, though, and was able to get some good perspective about how God wants me to give, not because I felt obligated to but because I see a need that I can meet it and want to meet it. And since, I have let go of trying to see what God wants me to give away and just letting him show me, I have found more than 7 things. I have already given away my magazines and some clothes to some women in the community. As soon as I get home I plan to donate my stuffed animals to the Ronald McDonald house, my prom dress to someone that cannot afford one, and Forrest Gump (to one of the local staff members here that has never seen it!!). If anyone would like to donate anything else when I get back or knows someone that will be in need of a gorgeous prom dress but cannot afford one, please do not hesitate to let me know.
There has also been a struggle with what God wants me to do when my DTS is over. I felt quite a bit of guilt and manipulation again that if I don’t continue with YWAM and don’t come back to J-Bay to become a staff member then I am not following God’s will. I had to recognize that that is not the person being manipulative but rather Satan using people to discourage and confuse me. I also had to recognize that they do not in any way mean to come off as condescending or manipulative and they would just love to see me be a staff member here and see the base grow. However; I still struggled with what God wanted me to do whether it is to go back to school or to continue with mission work. As I was praying about it, I decided to clear my mind and just let God tell me what He wants me to do. The first thing that came to mind was school, which was something I have seriously been considering and wanting to do. But I was not quite sure if me wanting to go back to school was because that was what God wants for me or if it was because of my own desires. Once I got the word “School” I immediately went to talk to my friend, Beth, who was such an encouragement. When I told her all that I had been struggling with about decisions, she immediately prayed over me and told me how my desires are His desires. So if I want to go back to school, then He wants me to go back to school. He has put those desires in my heart for a reason and He wants me to pursue them. I now can say with confidence and know that I am pleasing God by deciding to go back to school. I am still not sure what I plan to major in or where to even go but I know that God will give me clarity of where He specifically wants me.
Based on all the prophetic words I have gotten lately, I am leaning more towards counseling/psychology but I cannot seem to find any school that I like, that is not private, and that has a good counseling or psychology department. If you know, please, please inform me! Some of the prophetic words I have received since I arrived include power, healing hands (x3), encouragement, working with youth, glory of God is upon me, restoring of hearts/encouragement again!, my life will be like that of Nehemiah’s, my hands will bring hope and restoration of hearts (again!), and my feet will take me all over the world, and though I won’t make it to every country, the hope and encouragement (!) that I will bring people will reach every nation!!! It’s so cool to see how almost every single one of the words I have received either repeat or are so true to who I am and my character! I believe that it is definitely good to test prophetic words whether it be with the repetition of that word or with it ringing true to you or with God’s clear guidance that it was from Him (in whatever method He so chooses). Before Africa, I had never received prophetic words and to now have so many that repeat and resonate within me, it is clear that God is using them to guide me to what he ultimately wants me to do, counseling/encouragement in missions with young women and children.
Among all the other clear guidance, it was amazing to get such a direct word from God about what He wants me to do. About two weeks or so ago, we began praying for where our team would be doing our outreach location. During our times of intercession, I consistently got the word Thailand. Not only was Thailand on my heart during intercession/prayer but I also have felt a strong calling to Thailand, even before YWAM, to help restore women’s dignity and help them escape the dangerous and scarring human trafficking cycle. So hearing Thailand was nothing new, but I was super unsure of whether or not it was meant for our team for outreach or for me after I finish my DTS. A few days later, we learned of our outreach destination and God revealed to me that Thailand was something He has placed on my heart, for something He wants me to do in the future. Now it’s simply a question of when.
“When I get excited, my little china girl just says Ooh baby just you shut your mouth!” AHHH!!! My team is going to China!! Well to be more specific, we are going to Hong Kong. We will be leaving for the first part of our outreach to Hong Kong in the beginning of December and returning late January. I will be in Hong Kong for Christmas and my birthday!! I was bummed though to learn that the Chinese New Year, this year, will be February 3 so we will just barely miss it… After H.K. we will come back to J-Bay and serve in the community for two weeks and orientate the Jan. DTS on all the ins and outs of a DTS that the staff seems to leave out ;) After that, we will finish the outreach phase along the garden route, hopefully ending up in Cape Town!! It was a fantastic compromise for our group because some of us felt called to Asia, and even had visions of our group playing with little girls with long, beautiful black hair, and others felt we should stay in South Africa. I, of course, wanting to see the world and help the nations, considering we are a nations TO nations DTS, felt that we should go to Asia and was over the moon to learn that we will be heading to Hong Kong in about one month. Expectedly, there are always dangers with travelling and mission work so we will not be allowed to acknowledge YWAM and will be doing many prayer walks and subtle Christian dramas and dances in the malls and local village squares, because we will be there during Christmas season, when consumerism is at its worst. As for our South Africa outreach, our message and “preaching” will be far more direct and will focus more on the poverty and physical needs of the community rather than the spiritual needs lacking in the western cultures such as Hong Kong. We will be working at schools/orphanages and doing HIV/AIDS support and working alongside the people in their homes or gardens.
Despite all the excitement of travelling to another country and the excitement of the opportunity to experience the people and culture, reality begins to set in and stress clings like a leech. We were informed a few days ago that the total cost of outreach will be 27,000 Rand, which is about $3,500! That is more than even I was expecting!! I currently have close to $1,000 going towards outreach but I know that God will provide. If you feel so led to give, you may make your checks out to Sharon Bethke, please note that it is for Amanda’s DTS in the memo line, and she will transfer the money to my account. I know that many of you have already given or are in positions where you are not able to give right now, and I just want you to feel no pressure at all to give. I appreciate your support and prayers so much more than you know! Bad news is: each of us has to have our outreach funds in by the 15th of November. Not only am I in need of funding, but also one of my dear friends Dennis is greatly in need! Dennis is probably the most awesome old man I have ever met!! Dennis is about 55, no teeth except for two on the bottom, the best commentary to movies, great sense of humor, and an even more hilarious presence. A few weeks ago, we had a birthday party for one of the girls and when they brought all the cake out, Dennis grabbed 4 pieces!! My friend Melissa asked him if he had a bit of a sweet tooth. His response? “I don’t have any teeth!!” Dennis is constantly making us laugh with comments and faces! Before Dennis came to the DTS, he was living on the streets when he was taken in by the staff at the base. He has tried to complete four previous DTS’s but was not able to complete them because of funds or family emergencies. Fifth time’s the charm, right? If you are able to financially give, would you consider giving to help support Dennis and helping him finally complete a DTS. If you would like to make a contribution to me/my team’s outreach funding you may make the check out to Sharon Bethke, Amanda DTS in the memo line, and send it 26787 Meadow Lane, Sioux Falls, SD, 57106. I greatly appreciate your support and prayers!!
Please pray for the mini-outreach that my team will be taking to P.E. for about a week that we will be leaving for later today. Along with financing, please pray for the preparations of our outreach, that everything will fall into place, and that complications will not become a hindrance.
I pray that God continues to reveal himself more and more to you “And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. – Ephesians 3:17
All my love,
Amanda
Amanda
Q: What kind of dance do you do on a trampoline?
A: Hip-Hop!!
A: Hip-Hop!!
