Dear Eve, stop acting like Adam!

This has been bugging me for a while and I feel this is something that should be publicly addressed. Dear Eve, stop acting like Adam!

The other day I was perusing my Twitter feed and found not just 1, not even 2 or 3 but multiple tweets about shotgunning a drink, chugging a keg, or winning a belching contest! I used to be one of those girls. In high school I struggled to find my identity and having many of my closest friends as guys I found myself become more and more "one of the guys". I daily wore basketball shorts and a t-shirt, participated in (and sometimes won) belching contests and became immersed in various manly conversations. But the deeper I looked, the more I realized this wasn't me.

I am certainly no girly girl by any means! That is my sister's job. Yes, I love glitter and yes, I love shoes but those things don't define me as a woman. Those things don't even define me as a person. I am not a huge fan of dresses and can barely walking in high heels but that isn't the standard for whether or not I am a woman. I am defined as a woman because of who Christ says I am. In Christ, I have learned that those outwardly characteristics that society often tells us are the deciding factor of a gender don't really matter. I am a woman of God and in Him I contain His nurturing heart. I am the example of Christ's care to the world as men are the example of Christ's strength to the world.

The second wave of feminism though beneficial in certain aspects of our societal role, I also believe was devastating in other aspects. This second wave of feminism launched near the Civil Rights era fought for the independence of women. The whole "I am woman, hear me roar!" campaign catapulted women into the workforce creating a greater sense of equality among the genders. Yet at the same time, this movement seemed to emasculate men. Our pride of saying that we can do it on our own told men, "I don't need your strength because I am stronger than you and can do this on my own!" And yet, we do need Adam! We need his strength because let's be honest, I can be an emotional mess half the time. My emotions guide my decisions, and this is not a bad thing - it is a representation of God's heart and that He is not a God of rules and laws but one of love and grace. Men have an ease about them, they tend to think more logically and are there to fight FOR us not AGAINST us. I think the sooner we realize this, the sooner we become comfortable as women.

When I realized that God had created me for a specific purpose as a woman and not as a man, the sooner I became more confident in who I am. I certainly don't look in the mirror everyday and absolutely love what I see, but I certainly don't loathe it like I used to. I like to think that this change came from the revelation and resting in that truth of who God created me to be.

Womanhood does not come from heels, glitter or dresses but rather comes from the knowledge that I cannot do this on my own and opening my heart to embracing the role that Adam was created for in my life. Womanhood comes from the understanding that my emotions and my thought processes are not wrong because they are different from my guy friends. I remember, my friend Nate and I used to get into a ton of arguments because he was so logical about certain situations and I was the emotional one, and yet we always seemed to come to a mutual understanding and even appreciation for the other person's input and point of view. We grew closer being able to rely on each other to look at a situation from different vantage points, finding that happy medium and recognizing the strengths in each person.

I strongly believe that you don't have to participate in a belching contest to show your strength. You don't have to shotgun a 20 oz. beer to earn respect from men, who probably act more like boys. Pull yourself, embrace who you are and encourage femininity, not in the external areas of clothing and personal preferences but when it comes to the heart. Stasi Eldredge wrote a beautiful book that explores a woman's heart and questions what is true femininity, I highly recommend reading it! It gave so much insight into who I am and what I actually desire for my life and how that is in line with who God made me, as a woman and a daughter of Christ. There is a quote that I love and feel captures the dynamics between Adam and Eve and is as follows:

Woman came out of a man's rib.
Not from his feet to be walked on.
Not from his head to be superior,
But from his side to stand with man.
Under his arm to be protected
And next to his heart to be loved.